A cow good day to y'all!

[munchyburgers]

HELLO FELLOW YOMI'ANS! Are we Yomians? Or Iza'whatsions?

I'm Momoshiro, but you can all call me Momo! I've just arrived with five beautiful cows, a whole lot of meat, and that science guy who kept trying to divine the future in one of those Le Cre—thingy pots that was onboard.

Who wants to help me settle in the girls and give them their welcome home massage?

Comments

[chickens]

oh I see, that's why agriculture has been noisy.

[munchyburgers]

My girls aren't noisy! They're moo'tiful! Are you the chicken guardian? I bet they'd get on with the cows!

[chickens]

If you like the cows alive, I highly recommend you keep them away from the chickens.

[wildlionchef]

I did not realize we had space for cows. Or...food.

[munchyburgers]

That's not very friendly! My cows are gentle souls!

[munchyburgers]

Everyone has space for cows! If the food is tough to store, I can definitely handle that for you!

[wildlionchef]

I'm just curious as to where we will keep all their feed and how we will generate more.

Sorry, I'm being rude. My name is Tachibana Kippei, I am Yomi's acting nutritionist and chef.

[chickens]

and my chickens are not

[munchyburgers]

They're herbivores! They can eat algae based grass-replacement.

Good to meet you! Say, this meat won't keep forever and since you're bushed for space, how about a burger night?

[munchyburgers]

You have cow destroying chickens?!

.......... why?

[wildlionchef]

I suppose but I feel bad for them...

I have plenty of freezer space, but I suppose a burger night wouldn't hurt.

[munchyburgers]

Don't we have to eat the algae?

Burger nights never hurt! Show me what you're made of, Sir Chef!

[chickens]

It's untested. But I'd so hate to test it for the first time on your beloved cows.


Space does weird things to chickens.

[munchyburgers]

Just chickens? What's happened to them?

[chickens]

Multiple limbs and heads. Some getting much bigger than normal. Others revisiting their dreams of their days as cretaceous period apex predators and growing some very large claws.

[wildlionchef]

There are enough staples that I try to avoid it as often as I can.

Sure thing. I need to make buns first.

[toastzuka]

Ah, so you are the person threatening the lives of my new siblings. I am Lt. Commander Tezuka, and you will be arrested without a warrant if you pose any threat to my family.

[munchyburgers]

Eh? How could I hurt anyone not even on this planet? And why does asking if you are eating live stock count as a threat?

[toastzuka]

They are not livestock.

[spaceninja144]

Are they for meat, or milk?

[shishido0929]

I knew I liked you for a reason.

Yes, what he said, are they milk or meat cows?

[munchyburgers]

These girls are for milk and breeding, assuming they settle well. We'll assess in six months! Their calves may be for meat.

[munchyburgers]

Well, you hardly made that clear! We never had pets at home.

[munchyburgers]

Oooh. So the calves might be weird. Awesome!

[floranotfauna]

All I ask is that you keep the cows in Agri 2 until I get back.

[munchyburgers]

You don't need to worry! The cows eat anything, and it's really hard to upset their stomachs. Grass, flowers, vegetables... down the hatch!

[floranotfauna]

Are you illiterate?

I'm aware of their diet. I'm asking you to keep them in one location. Do not take them to the gardens or the greenhouses.

(ooc: strikes deleted)

[toastzuka]

Clearly I haven't had pets at home either, but I feel like you've been very much mistaken.

[munchyburgers]

Oh, you're the goat boss! And you care about the plants, not the cows. OK! I'll keep them in Aggy whatsit for now.

[kikumaru_beam]

Are the cows stressed out?

[munchyburgers]

Nobody is stressed out after one of my massages! Want me to demonstrate?

[kikumaru_beam]

I dunno, it'd be kinda weird to be massaged by a cow guy. Do you know how to do people massages?

[munchyburgers]

You have meat and muscle too! Trust me, it'll be great.

[kikumaru_beam]

But what would I do with meat?

[oh_choutarou]

Welcome to Yomi, Momoshiro-san!

[floranotfauna]

There aren't any goats here...

[akutagawa_j]

You brought cows? But don't they eat grass? There's no grass here...

[munchyburgers]

You ARE meat! Just like Bessie. But with a slightly less cute tushie.

[munchyburgers]

Thank you... uh, Ohtori-san? You are the moral officer?

[munchyburgers]

They can eat algae replica grass! It's all green goodness.

[oh_choutarou]

That's me! Ohtori Choutarou, Morale Officer. Here to do my best to make our time here as enjoyable as possible.

[munchyburgers]

Wait... you judge people for not behaving well? Or encourage them to not behave well because it makes them happy?

[oh_choutarou]

Nothing like that! There are rules in place for a reason, and I do hope everyone will follow them. But it's my job to try and keep everyone happy and motivated, because in a place like this, it can be easy to get burnt out from working too much.

[kikumaru_beam]

I'm not meat!?!

And my tushy is way cuter than Bessie's! o(><)o

[munchyburgers]

You're very similar to a cow! Just grab your belly and imagine that in a burger bun.

It is not! You don't have a tail OR cute black and white spots on your rump!

[munchyburgers]

Huh. So how do you make people happy?

[oh_choutarou]

Well, one way that I'm working on is getting a regular shipment of foods not readily available here. There's another part to the plan, but I haven't yet reached out to the people who I'm hoping will help with it, so I don't want to say much about that part, yet.

There's also the trading cards that are circulating as a way to get to know the other residents here, which has provided some interesting diversions for some. There should be a pack in your mailbox, if you haven't checked it already.